Don't Let Me Down

I feel like a failure today. As always, when I feel like this, my self-esteem goes down to the deepest part of the ocean. This also causes sudden breakdowns and being a bitch to someone just to feel good about myself. No, I will not stand/sit here and be like that. I have grown up now and being mean to someone is just immature unless I'm in a fight (which I'm not).

I wanted to do something for once. I want to lead something this year. Sometimes, my talents (whatever those talents are) are not appreciated by people, especially the teachers. Boy, they teach us about not to have a low self-esteem at school and yet we have them because of it (i.e. favoritism, neglect of talents, neglect of showing who you really are, hate-ism, racism, &c. in school). I'm not going to say bad things about my school but isn't it the truth? Seriously, what do you want me to do? Say that the school is just so awesome. No! I don't mean school is awesome- it is- it's just there are some things that make the school unlikable.

I also feel like that I am in a world that people just want me to fail. I'm not good at anything you're good at, that's sure, but I have other talents. Why not acknowledge that? For some this might be your reply "Because there are just people better than you." I'm sick and tired being an outcast in my own life. It's my life so stay the hell away from it (I speak to the people who bring me down, not a specific person).

This must probably be confusing for those who just don't get it; actually, this will be confusing to all of you because you don't know what's going on in my life right now. I hope though you will not think that this is you (for those who are thinking right now "Oh shit, what the hell is she talking about? I didn't even do anything to her! Must hate her now!" Well you are a very sadistic narcissist.) Because I speak to those people who try hard to bring me down.

Obviously, I'll try to make myself happy. Maybe I'm just tired from all this crap (i.e. homeworks, project &c.), though not all of them are crap. Pardon my French, when I said crap I don't mean that as a really bad thing. It's crappy because it's too many. I'm going to end this entry with a story (not, I'm not someone who's saying a sermon that I need to have an example about whatever I'm talking about. For those who all know what I'm talking about… you know… Monday?)

(I HAVE LOTS OF PROJECTS, HOMEWORKS AND &c.
Wish those are my books! ahahaha)

Everyone feels so shitty today. :| Power to the EMORANGERS!