Don't Let Me Down

I feel like a failure today. As always, when I feel like this, my self-esteem goes down to the deepest part of the ocean. This also causes sudden breakdowns and being a bitch to someone just to feel good about myself. No, I will not stand/sit here and be like that. I have grown up now and being mean to someone is just immature unless I'm in a fight (which I'm not).

I wanted to do something for once. I want to lead something this year. Sometimes, my talents (whatever those talents are) are not appreciated by people, especially the teachers. Boy, they teach us about not to have a low self-esteem at school and yet we have them because of it (i.e. favoritism, neglect of talents, neglect of showing who you really are, hate-ism, racism, &c. in school). I'm not going to say bad things about my school but isn't it the truth? Seriously, what do you want me to do? Say that the school is just so awesome. No! I don't mean school is awesome- it is- it's just there are some things that make the school unlikable.

I also feel like that I am in a world that people just want me to fail. I'm not good at anything you're good at, that's sure, but I have other talents. Why not acknowledge that? For some this might be your reply "Because there are just people better than you." I'm sick and tired being an outcast in my own life. It's my life so stay the hell away from it (I speak to the people who bring me down, not a specific person).

This must probably be confusing for those who just don't get it; actually, this will be confusing to all of you because you don't know what's going on in my life right now. I hope though you will not think that this is you (for those who are thinking right now "Oh shit, what the hell is she talking about? I didn't even do anything to her! Must hate her now!" Well you are a very sadistic narcissist.) Because I speak to those people who try hard to bring me down.

Obviously, I'll try to make myself happy. Maybe I'm just tired from all this crap (i.e. homeworks, project &c.), though not all of them are crap. Pardon my French, when I said crap I don't mean that as a really bad thing. It's crappy because it's too many. I'm going to end this entry with a story (not, I'm not someone who's saying a sermon that I need to have an example about whatever I'm talking about. For those who all know what I'm talking about… you know… Monday?)

(I HAVE LOTS OF PROJECTS, HOMEWORKS AND &c.
Wish those are my books! ahahaha)

Everyone feels so shitty today. :| Power to the EMORANGERS!

Chateau-Renaud

Somehow, weird to do list for this exam week.

TO DO LIST (For Exam Week):

October 11
[x] Do English Comm. Ex (10:00-10:30)
[x] Study Trigo or Chem (10:30-12:00)
[x] Do Computer Quiz (12:00-12:30)
[x] Read Night World (12:30-1:00)
[x] Study MA

october 12
[x] Wake Up
[x] Study MA (in school)
[x] Revie MA and Trigo
[x] Start Studying Different Subjects

October 13 (Trigo and MA test)
[x] Review Trigo and MA
[x] Study Chem (Lunch or free periods)
[] Study PE and Music (School)
[x] Study Chem (5:00-11:00)
[x] Study PE (11:00-12:00)
[x] Study Music (12:00-1:00)\

October 14 (Chem, PE and Music test)
[x] Memorize Chem stuff
[x] Review Chem PE and Music
[] Go To SM (please!)
[] Read Noli book (tagalog and english)
[] Study for Pinoy Quiz

October 15 (Regular Sched- Half Day)
[] Do Health Project
[] Read Noli Book
[x] Study for Pinoy Quiz (morning)
[] Study for Tests next week
[x] Go To SM/Trinoma
[x] Rest

October 16 (No Classes)
[x] Study Entrep
[] Study AP
[x] Study CL
[] Study Pinoy

October 17 (Saturday- No classes)
[x] Study AP
[x] Study Geom
[] Study Computer
[] Study English
[] Study Pinoy

October 18 (Sunday)
[x] Review Enterp
[x] Review AP
[x] Review CL
[] Study Pinoy
[] Study English
[] Study Health

October 19 (Entrep, AP and CL test- half day)
[x] Review Entrep, CL and AP (morning)
[x] Study Computer
[x] Study Geom
[] Study Pinoy

October 20 (Geom and Computer test- whole day)
[x] review Computer and Geom (morning)
[x] Review Pinoy and English (lunch or free period)
[x] Study Health (When you get home)
[x] Review Pinoy and English (before going to sleep)

October 21 (Pinoy, English and Health Test- whole day)
[x] Review Pinoy, English and Health (morning)
[x] Submit Health Project
[x] Health Presentation

After Tests
[] Clean Room
[x] Rest in Peace

I'm trying my best to do everything. I'm really tired right now so I'm going to sleep. Good night bloggers. Sweet dreams, I hope it's about me.

Xoxo

JM (Gossip Girl's initials)

Let's Make (A Game)

Let's make #astroboylovesme a trending topic in Twitter (Wala lang malakas trip ko ngayon)
Let's make vampires
Let's make French Toast
Let's make people dance like there's no tomorrow
Let's make a movie out of my life and make that a musical
Let's make awesomeness and janineness put together and make a universal awesome janine!
Please Let's make Janine Stop! :))

I'm serious about making #astroboylovesme a tending topic in Twitter

Stressed Out

Today was declared a national holiday and naturally "holidays" are made so that we can rest but so far I've been stressed out. I have a confession . . . ever since we had our first quarterly exams I've always felt like everyday is an exam for me. I can't sleep without studying every subject and I'm really stressed out. It's really weird that I'm stressed out right now and tomorrow we have two quizzes in health about stress. I'm stressed because I haven't studied about stressed yet and we have a presentation about it, I think. I can't take it anymore. I'm mentally ill! We have two quizzes in health, a quiz in History about something I don't know and a quiz in Filipino about Bayani Third World. I don't know why they are very angry in the whole movie and why they are arguing about Rizal in the whole film and very rude to the family of Rizal (I know they're just imagining it but hello if you want to be realistic then they should be realistic in time and rules of society! DAMN THEM!). I hate the movie it's like they're trying to find something wrong about Rizal but really they're just making a movie about Rizal and they just want something interesting about him. ARG! Rizal is Rizal and nothing more! I want to swear so much! :|

After Dinner
They just don't understand why I can't do things that easy. There are always consiquences in life, what ever you do. (bad word), I hate Bayani Third World. It's so idiotic. wth! :|